My supervisor told me that because I am a new home health nurse, she expects to see a “deer in the headlights” look before the end of orientation. I’m not sure I can muster the appropriate feelings for that. It’s her fault (along with the rest of the staff).  It is an amazing team at an extremely ethical, patient-centered company (apparently this is not the norm). The office does all the coding, the documentation is streamlined. Everyone has made me feel so welcome, so supported, that I know I’ll get whatever I need to succeed. I can ask anyone anything and they will all be happy to help. I’ll be autonomous in the field, but never alone. I feel incredibly lucky to have stumbled upon this agency.

My sudden reversal of fortune just proves that being open to change can bring opportunities to you that you never would have imagined. I start with my preceptor on Monday. I can’t wait to get out there!

I have been there over thirty hours a week, so I was slacking off on my job hunting, choosing instead to spend the evenings hanging out with my kid. On a whim, I applied at a local home care agency. I didn’t give it another thought, since every home care I had ever applied with wouldn’t look my way without that magic year of experience. Surprisingly, the manager called that day.

I have been looking for a full-time RN position for almost a year now, and this is only the second interview I have been on. I wasn’t sure I could work it around my commitment to my private duty patient, but I went anyway. I am so glad I did! The first thing the director told me is that she could see from my app that I had worked my way out of some pretty bad teen years. She said she was very proud of me for turning my life around. I was amazed and touched by what she said. It was a far cry from the scoldings I regularly received from the Dean. I was very clear about my commitment to my patient, and she saw no conflict of interest. Some of her nurses even work for more than one agency. I guess that is pretty common, actually.

The weird twist is, my private duty patient ended up getting admitted to the hospital last week. I feel bad because it was not what he wanted, but he is also not ready to cease aggressive treatment, either, so there was no other choice.  I haven’t heard from the agency to set up orientation (they should call today) but having the next ten days free will make orientation easier to schedule.

The more I think about it, the more interesting this job sounds. There is a lot of autonomy and care planning, not to mention patient teaching, which I love. Oh, and lots of wound care and IV. I was really impressed with this operation as well. The agency was started by a nurse, and most of the staff have been there for a dozen years. They are organized, the paperwork is streamlined, and they offer a great orientation, many education opportunities, lots of flexibility, and really good pay.

It’s been six months since I graduated. Six months of applications, of carefully crafted cover letters, of fruitless follow-up calls and letters. Six months of short rejection emails (or of hearing nothing at all). Six months of listening to people exclaim their surprise at my continued unemployment.

This is supposed to be the point at which the newness starts to wear off at my dream job. The point at which I begin to come into my own as a nurse. Most days I’m too busy to think much about it, but when I do I can’t help be impressed with the irony.

At least I have a job. It’s dreadfully boring, and it’s a contract gig so it could end at any time, but it pays well in the meantime.

I should have kept up with this blog, I know, but it reminds my of things that seem rather out-of-reach. I didn’t want to turn this into a forum for my self-pity. I do appreciate all the comments and emails of support.

The only thing that makes me feel better is volunteering. In my role with the MRC, I’ve helped vaccinate half the county against H1N1 this Fall, and I spend twenty hours a week supervising the sorting and packing of donated medical supplies to overseas clinics.  At least I get out of the house, and get to do things that feel like nursing.

I know I won’t be unemployed forever, but things are so dire right now it is hard to stay positive.

The position is on the acute neuro/ortho rehab floor, which would be fun. The average length of stay is between eight and ten days. I’d likely have the same patients for most of their stay, which will give me time to actually get to know my patients.

It’s an evening shift, 3-midnight, which is really nice, but going back to eight-hour shifts could suck. It’s really the only bad part. I just started volunteering with this really great agency that sends medical supplies and clinicians overseas, and I really want to be more involved with the Medical Reserve Corps.
I am in no place to be picky. New grads all over the country are unemployed. It’s a pretty crazy time.
Luckily the interview was just with HR. I’ve been out of work for six months, and away from nursing for almost four. I feel like I’m losing my mojo. I was kind of a spaz despite all the mental prep. But I have a second interview with the manager tomorrow, so I guess I didn’t totally crap out.

People who don’t want you to think are never your friends.